If you spend enough time in airports you see some some interesting outfit choices. From the person who avoids extra baggage fees by wearing half their wardrobe to the one who is clearly going directly from the airplane to the night club.  You see it all.  On my most recent trip from LA to Atlanta via Houston, I saw enough poor traveling outfit choices that I thought I’d do a quick Public Service Announcement on what not to where on a flight.

1.  Short Shorts
Even if your destination is some fabulously warm beach location, I cannot for the life of me figure out why someone would want to wear really short shorts on a plane. Think about it. Do you want that much of your skin touching that often soiled, rarely cleaned airline seat fabric?  I thought not. Secondly, there is never any guarantee of how warm it will be in the terminal or on the plane. You get on a flight where they’ve jacked up the air conditioning and you’re faced with a germ cocoon of the airline seat and the very questionable airline blanket. And guys, lest you think this one is just for the ladies, I’ve seen enough guys don short shorts on flights to fill a 1970’s NBA team.

2.  High Heels
This is not a 1950’s horror movie.  You do not want to find yourself running from terminal to gate in a flimsy pair of high heels.  You will trip, you will fall and there will not be a lumbering zombie behind you to quietly put you out of your misery. I used to travel weekly for business and I understand that sometimes you are coming to the airport directly from a formal business meeting, but try to plan ahead and throw a pair of flats in your bag.  Your ankles will thank you.<

3. Tons of Makeup
Although a ton of make up is rarely a good look, this is especially applicable to red-eye flights.  Ever go out for a night at the club only to come home and fall asleep without washing your face?  How did you look that next morning? Not pretty, huh?  That is not the look you want when you exit the plane in the morning.  I’m not saying don’t wear anything on your face, but just tone it down a bit.

4. Pajamas
Unless you are under the age of 6 or flying international first class, there’s really no excuse for wearing pajamas on a flight.  For children, yes, by all means dress them so they think they are about to go to sleep in the hopes that they actually will. And if you’ve purchased a first class ticket and they provide pajamas, then please enjoy the luxury. But note that no one in first class actually boards or deplanes wearing them.

5. All White Outfits
Clearly I take issue with the suspect cleanliness on airplanes, but that really applies to the whole airport. Whether its the grimy seat in the terminal waiting area, or even your own self inflected potential mess as you try to balance your roll aboard, and dig for your ID at security check all while juggling you Grande Mocha Latte – at some point you’re bound to get an all white outfit dirty. Why bother. Save that look for a sunny day at the beach.

OK. That’s my little rant for the week.  If you have any other airport fashion disasters I didn’t think of, please do share with a comment below.